Bug Hunt
Two things. First, I've turned on commenting for non-Blogspot members. Not sure when it got switched to Blogspotters only, actually. Sorry about that.
You'll still have to punch in the 27-digit code to allow you to say something, but at least you won't have to enter yourself into the system.
The other thing is going to be a perplexed rant in the form of a story.
My crack squad of internal programmers arrived on the scene several days ago. Facing their commander and their civilian expert, they were briefed on the situation: the complex controlling the menuing system was out of contact with the rest of the planet. Terraforming was halted until the system could be brought back on line. Primary objective: bring the system up permanently. Secondary objective: evacuate survivors.
"Is this a legitimate coding job or a bug hunt, sir?"
"All we know is that the system is down. There are unconfirmed reports of a xenomorph..."
"It's a bug hunt. Great. How do I get out of this Mickey Mouse outfit?"
Entering the complex, the team quickly discovered that the source of the error was a kludged interface between this complex and the string display complex next door. The two were built with this interface in mind, but someone had screwed up somehow, and now there was a xenomorph running loose in the area.
The string display complex ran perfectly smoothly. It shipped out primary tiles with mounted shadow drops. If asked for an "A" of a specific color, it would give you that "A" with a black "A" behind it - to make for high contrast communications, necessary for the environment. These communications came with a built in self-destruct which took out the primary tile. The drop shadow was automatically dismantled thanks to the rules of physics.
The menuing complex had always gotten by fine on custom tiles of their own making, but it was a given that they would need the added efficiency of typesetting. When they were given the task of project management, they found they needed the typesetting. No problem, that's why they were right next door to the communications complex.
So they received shipments of primary tiles which did not have the self destruct in them, but otherwise used all the same techniques. They did not want a self destruct, because their communication requires a response from the distant outpost, as opposed to the string display communications, which are one-way. Therefore, the message could only be wiped after a response had been gained.
It was on this response that the xenomorph came. It somehow got inside the complex riding on any response from the distant outposts.
After days of fruitless fighting and many lives lost, one of the programmers discovered that if he called for letter tiles without the drop shadow, the xenomorph could not get in. However, that rendered the message much too low-gain for communication purposes.
They proceeded with the understanding that the drop shadow's destruction was what allowed the xenomorph in. However, this was quickly proven wrong, as even when the drop shadow was torn from the primary tile and never destroyed, the xenomorph still intruded when the primary tile was destroyed.
Somehow, merely having a drop shadow allowed the xenomorph into the primary tile.
The confused programmers are still investigating, but they have suffered many casualties. Many board members believe it would be more cost-effective to simply rebuild both complexes from scratch to insure perfect operation. This is because the last communication was, "We're screwed! Screwed! Game over, man! Game over!"
You'll still have to punch in the 27-digit code to allow you to say something, but at least you won't have to enter yourself into the system.
The other thing is going to be a perplexed rant in the form of a story.
My crack squad of internal programmers arrived on the scene several days ago. Facing their commander and their civilian expert, they were briefed on the situation: the complex controlling the menuing system was out of contact with the rest of the planet. Terraforming was halted until the system could be brought back on line. Primary objective: bring the system up permanently. Secondary objective: evacuate survivors.
"Is this a legitimate coding job or a bug hunt, sir?"
"All we know is that the system is down. There are unconfirmed reports of a xenomorph..."
"It's a bug hunt. Great. How do I get out of this Mickey Mouse outfit?"
Entering the complex, the team quickly discovered that the source of the error was a kludged interface between this complex and the string display complex next door. The two were built with this interface in mind, but someone had screwed up somehow, and now there was a xenomorph running loose in the area.
The string display complex ran perfectly smoothly. It shipped out primary tiles with mounted shadow drops. If asked for an "A" of a specific color, it would give you that "A" with a black "A" behind it - to make for high contrast communications, necessary for the environment. These communications came with a built in self-destruct which took out the primary tile. The drop shadow was automatically dismantled thanks to the rules of physics.
The menuing complex had always gotten by fine on custom tiles of their own making, but it was a given that they would need the added efficiency of typesetting. When they were given the task of project management, they found they needed the typesetting. No problem, that's why they were right next door to the communications complex.
So they received shipments of primary tiles which did not have the self destruct in them, but otherwise used all the same techniques. They did not want a self destruct, because their communication requires a response from the distant outpost, as opposed to the string display communications, which are one-way. Therefore, the message could only be wiped after a response had been gained.
It was on this response that the xenomorph came. It somehow got inside the complex riding on any response from the distant outposts.
After days of fruitless fighting and many lives lost, one of the programmers discovered that if he called for letter tiles without the drop shadow, the xenomorph could not get in. However, that rendered the message much too low-gain for communication purposes.
They proceeded with the understanding that the drop shadow's destruction was what allowed the xenomorph in. However, this was quickly proven wrong, as even when the drop shadow was torn from the primary tile and never destroyed, the xenomorph still intruded when the primary tile was destroyed.
Somehow, merely having a drop shadow allowed the xenomorph into the primary tile.
The confused programmers are still investigating, but they have suffered many casualties. Many board members believe it would be more cost-effective to simply rebuild both complexes from scratch to insure perfect operation. This is because the last communication was, "We're screwed! Screwed! Game over, man! Game over!"
posted by Craig Perko at 10:21 AM
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